Cara Delevingne, Dane DeHaan, Rihanna, Clive Owen, Ethan Hawke and John Goodman – a match made in heaven (or space) right? Well, not so much according to the review for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets.
If you’ve seen the trailer for Valerian and were wowed by the out-of-this-world, attack on the senses (what’s with all the colors?) sci-fi extravaganza, you were probably pretty excited to see the movie. If you’ve yet to buy a ticket for Luc Besson’s newest project, it’s probably best to save your money, because the reviews are in. And they are not good. In fact, they are really, really bad.
Despite Valerian’s all-star cast and wildly experimental storyline, it just hasn’t cut it with the critics. The Hollywood Reporter has perhaps been the most brutal (and also quite hilarious. Sorry Valerian). Here’s a few snippets of their review from Hollywood Reporter.
Cara Delevingne needs to learn there is more to acting than smirking and eye-rolling. Rihanna should pretend this never happened. And the Hollywood studio chiefs can breathe easy that, this time, at least, they’ll escape blame for making a giant summer franchise picture that nobody wants to see, since this one’s a French import.
And the Hollywood Reporter isn’t alone with its review. Here’s a few other one-liners.
The film feels as it were made up on the spot, by someone so delighted by the gaudy genre packaging at his disposal that he lost track of what was supposed to be inside. (The NY Times)
A wildly ambitious space opera, but also a self-indulgent narrative morass. (Empire)
It’s quite a spectacle and for a while the director’s enthusiasm is infectious. But it doesn’t take long for the stomach cramps and the headaches to kick in. (The Daily Star)
Of course, there are critics out there who applaud Besson for his efforts, as well as the actors who performed most of their craft in front of a green screen. (What, you mean they really WEREN’T in the 28th Century?!)
But with a 53% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, it’s safe to say Valerian won’t be taking the box-office by storm.