Although we love our dear readers (you rock), we’re not the biggest fans of humans as a whole collective. Yuh-huh, those guys are exhausting, and we’re just not into pretending as though we care about Susan’s latest vacation with her perfect family to the perfect islands of Greece. Just let us binge-watch movies and eat ten different tubs of ice cream in peace, Susan. When it all gets a little too much in the human world, we love to shove on a movie we haven’t watched and see what all of the fuss is about. During this time, we’ve watched movies that have gone on our ‘epic’ list and some movies that have gone on the ‘not-so-epic-with-pretty-rubbish-endings’ list. Wanna know more about this super specific list? These are amazing movies with the worst endings of all time…
Shutter Island (2010)
If you’ve ever watched Shutter Island, you’ll know that it’s our lovely Leo at his best. In this movie, he takes on the role of Detective Teddy Daniels and works alongside Detective Chuck Aule (oh hey, Mark Ruffalo, we love you) to solve the case of a missing woman from the infamous Shutter Island asylum. There is no way that you can’t get super invested in this movie, and one time I even donned my trilby hat and trench coat to truly *become* a detective and help them solve the case. However, the ending was not quite what we expected. After falling completely in love with Teddy and his turbulent past, we are soon greeted with the bombshell that HE’S the real patient and that he sent his wife and kids to sleep with the fishes. Because he was in denial and couldn’t believe that they had done it, they created this whole elaborate ruse to get him to understand. I mean, that just sounds like way too much effort for us.
Don’t worry; we’re not going to get the measuring tape out and suggest that both Rose and Jack could have fit on the floating door – because that’s not why we’re annoyed with this ending. Of course, we are a little upset that once again our favorite Leonardo DiCaprio doesn’t survive to marry us and spend all eternity reciting his famous monologues to us, but we’ve dealt with it. Instead, what truly gets us about this ending is the fact that Rose just throws a priceless necklace into the ocean. We get that there are obviously some heartbreaking memories associated with the necklace, but come on. It’s a beauty, and supposedly worth around $20 million. Don’t be so silly, Rose; you could buy so many donuts with that kinda money.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
Don’t get us wrong, we love a good cliffhanger as much as the next guy – and he really loves cliffhangers. So, Christopher Nolan probably thought that he was doing us all a favor and giving us what we all wanted when he bought The Dark Knight Rises into our lives. But do you wanna know what, Chrissy boy? We did not appreciate this ending. No thank you. After toying with our emotions and giving us the impression that Bruce Wayne had sadly passed away and that his bat signal had lost connection, we were then teased with the end scene that had us all reeling. Batman was alive! He was spotted with Selina Kyle on vacation, and then the movie ended. By this point, we all knew that Christopher Nolan was done with the Batman franchise, so why the heck would he give us an ending like that if there was going to be absolutely no resolution?!
Now You See Me (2013)
In 2013, the world was graced (or disgraced, depending on how you feel about this movie) with Now You See Me – an epic and magical story dealing with crime, magic, and illusion. Personally, I kinda loved this movie and the subsequent sequel, but the end did leave me totally buggin.’ After going on a ride with Mark Ruffalo and his FBI team, we soon discover that his character isn’t quite what we thought he was. Yep, it turns out that Ruffalo has been leading the criminal group all along and has been double-crossing the FBI. It hurt our heads. But what hurt our heads even more was the fact that they simply jumped onto a carousel at the end of the movie and disappeared into nothingness. I mean… why?
La La Land (2016)
Okay, I know this one is going to divide opinions, but I’m pretty passionate about it. I’m just doing me, y’all. In the slightly remixed words of Robbie Williams, let me persuade you on why La La Land has one of the worst endings of all time. At the start of this movie, we’re faced with one of the catchiest songs of the moment. It made us want to jump on our own car and dance through the streets with complete strangers, and it made us feel incredibly hopeful about life that sometimes sucks eggs. Then, the whole will-they-won’t-they shebang between Mia and Sebastian came into our lives, and we were even more hopeful that it was going to be a beautiful movie with a beautiful ending and beautiful characters. Oh, how wrong we were! These guys basically stomped on our hearts. That’s why it’s on this list. Where is the happily-ever-after where they get married and make sweet, sweet music with each other, ey?!
Movies are awesome, aren’t they? We love nothing more than sinking our teeth into a cool new movie, but our TV doesn’t really like it when it offers an awful ending. The cushion kinda hurts it. Poor TV.